Brrr! The frost is on the pumpkin--it’s time for some book snuggling and tea drinking under a soft afghan. I love books that help me grow, and to that end, I have another book title you might want to put on your Christmas list.

Life has a way of beating us up, and sometimes missed opportunities or yesterday’s faux pas come back to haunt us. According to Amy Morin, that’s a big no-no. In her book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, she lists counter-productive habits, and so goes on to share ways to avoid those pitfalls. As I opened her book, I thought, “She could have written this for me!” Yet so universal is her message, that she, in fact, wrote it for all of us. 13 Things

It’s true. In our day to day struggle to take care of business, keep the home fires burning, maintain friendships and be a part of our larger community we find ourselves stretched way too thin. We are sadly human, and our souls get a lot of wear and tear. Her message is a vibrantly alternative to feeling worn down: You are more than what you experience. In her experience as a psychotherapist and in living a life common to us all, she has hit on the habits predictive of success, and offers wisdom on how to place them into your life.

These are a few of the haunting habits mentally strong people avoid:

• They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.

• They don’t give away their power.

• They don’t shy away from change.

• They don’t focus on things they can’t control.

• They don’t worry about pleasing everyone.

• They don’t dwell on the past.

• They don’t make the same mistake over and over again.

She has a series of books, writing for women and parents as well as for the world at large, but I suggest you begin with the book offering a universal theme: every single man and woman can rise above the events which would destroy us. Read through it once, and then go back with a journal in hand to the strengths which resonate most with you.

When we lost our second son, we had been living out in the country in the same house for forty years. He and his family built on our property. We thought they’d carry us away from the homestead in boxes ready for burial…and then the unthinkable happened. Suddenly a host of changes hurled us unto city living, living separately from the family we’d been closer than neighbors to for more ten years, and into alien lives. Forced to adapt, I found her wisdom deeply applicable in my own life. I think you may, as well. Read her list of don’ts, and instill some do’s instead. You’ll enter 2021 stronger than ever.